Philippians 4:11 could be considered my life verse ... of course, I am so thankful I don't have to pick one. But, I love learning to be content in all things. No, that does not always come easy for me and is not always the most fun. But, that is what I want my life to exude ... I have Jesus, what else could I desire. I am content. Lately, as a family, we have all been feeling a little (a lot depending on who you ask) of discontentment as we our juggling vehicles as we purpose ourselves to live within our means. I cannot deny that another car (or two) would make our days easier. Today as I was driving Marshall to class, I was reminded of a week that I had the privilege of driving my sister's family around while she and Jim took a vacation. One of my duties was to take Zach to college. Yes, it was early, yes it was boring waiting on him and yes it was even a little frustrating when I realized on the first day that he had fell asleep in the backseat and let me drive WAY out of the way! But, you know what? I got to be a part of his life that week. I got to see his school. We got to have a few lunches, and of course, shop the Metro Thrift on half price day! So, what does shopping and eating lunch out have to so with being content? Those are precious memories that I will never forget. So, today instead of dreading my trip to the college, I am going to cherish it and thank Jesus that my son needs me. I am thanking Jesus for Marshall, and that he has the opportunity to go to college. And, I am thanking Jesus that Marshall's alternator is lying on the hood of his car!
So ... here I am, almost two years since my last post. I have debated whether or not I should explain my absence or just carry on as if nothing is amiss? For the sake of posterity, (I plan to print our blog for each of our children someday.) I will try. One of the main reasons I began blogging was because traditional scrap booking was becoming just too much for me in this season of life. If you know anything at all about me, you know I am an "all or nothing" kind of girl. So, the scrapbooks were "scraped" (for this time), and so began "Molding Godly Hearts" - our family's new scrapbook. From the time I was pregnant with Marshall, I have always wanted our children to know "their story", unique to them, designed by God. I have journaled and wrote "love notes" to them. I have purposed myself that they would know our motivation in parenting them. While we fail miserably, much, Troy and I have always known our job is to equip and prepare them for God's unique purpose and calling on their lives.
In April of 2010, life got busy, my computer crashed and probably a hundred other reasons excuses kept me from blogging. For the longest time, I intended just to "go back and catch up"! But, just like laundry, once your blog is out of control it is hard to get caught up. So, (again, with the all or nothing) I did what has worked in the past with the piles of laundry ... I shut the laundry room door and went shopping for new underwear! :o) I put the blog out of my mind and carried on with my molding Godly hearts, just without pictures and documentation. And then came April 2011.
April 1, 2011, our nephew, Zachary Tyler, my sister's handsome, full of life and love son, left this world to be with Jesus, and nothing will ever be the "same" for our family. Obviously, this is now part of our children's story. So, how does this relate specifically to my lack of blogging? Well, my last entry, until today, was a picture of Zach and Mitchell just before Mitchell became the new (and current!) record holder of the "Earliest Entry" into Aunt Tammy & Uncle Jim's pool on Resurrection Sunday! See, that picture is the perfect "picture" of what Zach brought to the party (and our family)! Zach LIVED life and challenged those he was around to do the same. So, for nine months, even though I have desperately needed a place to put my thoughts, I could not bring myself to post. Still doesn't make sense? When I would open the blog, which I do a lot because of my play list, I could not bear to post about something frivolous or happy because then, Zach('s picture) would move down and eventually be out of our minds.
Now, rationally, I know that makes absolutely no sense, but that is just how my brain works. Zach's short 24 years were full! There are more "Zach stories" and memories than any other person I know! They are a combination of smirky faced pranks, daredevil stunts and precious tender moments, all weaved together with his hysterical laughter. Zach will always remain in our lives whether I see his picture everytime I open my blog or not. He is still "with us", and God delights in showing us in concrete ways.
The morning of Zach's memorial service as we backed out of our driveway (all of us dressed in black and the boys in their "Chuck's" *smiles*), I heard Matthew West's, Save A Place For Me for the first time. I did not know at the time, my sister had picked this song to accompany Zach's "picture story" shown at the church. While the numbness is still subsiding, I have finally decided that I have to "make the most of my time" and for me, that includes telling our story, giving all praise and glory to Jesus!
(Remember to pause the music player at the right before playing this video.)
